Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
