i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
