i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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