he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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