I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Shame is for Republicans.
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