Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize
