Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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