My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
