Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
we're so committed to being not committed
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
