JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
