at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
