just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
