Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
