I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Randomize
