Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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