It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
