why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
