these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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