i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Shame - the story of my life.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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