She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
is wine microwaveable?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
