Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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