i barfeds in our rink
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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