All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
