I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm like, not good at living.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
