Grow some girl-balls and come out already
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis