whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
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Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
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Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one