bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
