I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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