i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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