i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Sext me about skeletons
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