I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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