dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
