a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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