wat bout pragnant strippers??
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
