I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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