just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
