Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I understand Curling. That high.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I am available for nakedness
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
