new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
