Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
