I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
