Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
