ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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