Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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