Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!

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  (248): I cant believe we actually had a nipple party! http://tfl.nu/pec6
  Replies (5) Good night (1935) Bad night (391) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.

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  (978): I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work. http://tfl.nu/5w8x
  Replies (16) Good night (2128) Bad night (581) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Nowhere

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  (410): I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life? (301): Nowhere http://tfl.nu/ayl7
  Replies (25) Good night (894) Bad night (2405)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.

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  (850): lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita. http://tfl.nu/5n5t
  Replies (35) Good night (4163) Bad night (770) Order T-Shirt
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies

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  (804): no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies http://tfl.nu/gwy7
  Replies (18) Good night (3811) Bad night (1201) Order T-Shirt
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.

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  (918): Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building. http://tfl.nu/yoz8
  Replies (44) Good night (5945) Bad night (609) Order T-Shirt
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.

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  (763): I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year. http://tfl.nu/q074
  Replies (10) Good night (830) Bad night (3524) Order T-Shirt
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  (806): View more from Texas

  yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....

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  (806): yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac.... http://tfl.nu/v8jl
  Replies (12) Good night (956) Bad night (5246) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again

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  (412): I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again http://tfl.nu/0m8m
  Replies (14) Good night (940) Bad night (4449) Order T-Shirt
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.

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  (502): We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears. http://tfl.nu/e7ru
  Replies (4) Good night (888) Bad night (3441) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.

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  (614): You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you. http://tfl.nu/0odh
  Replies (8) Good night (1962) Bad night (552) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.

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  (707): Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life. http://tfl.nu/o39j
  Replies (6) Good night (1271) Bad night (360) Order T-Shirt
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  (212): View more from New York

  Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?

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  (212): Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes? http://tfl.nu/3emh
  Replies (4) Good night (1116) Bad night (427) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Why does my jaw hurt?

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I may have punched you.

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  (303): Why does my jaw hurt? (402): I may have punched you. http://tfl.nu/tz5g
  Replies (7) Good night (1609) Bad night (337)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.

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  (720): I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win. http://tfl.nu/oqh3
  Replies (3) Good night (485) Bad night (183) Order T-Shirt

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