All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.