Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.

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(313): View more from Michigan

Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice

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(325): View more from Texas

Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(915): View more from Texas

I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?

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(626): View more from California

do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM

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(530): View more from California

it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.

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