I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.