Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.

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  (214): Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again. http://tfl.nu/sc3c
  Replies (5) Good night (1460) Bad night (456)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.

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  (479): I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter. http://tfl.nu/4ovg
  Replies (35) Good night (5646) Bad night (752)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.

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  (678): Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting. http://tfl.nu/d568
  Replies (14) Good night (3201) Bad night (657)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day

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  (817): Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day http://tfl.nu/cyg4
  Replies (16) Good night (864) Bad night (3555)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.

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  (602): I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again. http://tfl.nu/a40p
  Replies (35) Good night (9784) Bad night (989)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.

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  (850): I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized. http://tfl.nu/cbfh
  Replies (11) Good night (4945) Bad night (838)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.

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  (813): I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me. http://tfl.nu/z6eo
  Replies (36) Good night (19721) Bad night (1541)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...

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  (816): As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall... http://tfl.nu/n3n5
  Replies (2) Good night (1297) Bad night (727)
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  (516): View more from New York

  He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.

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  (516): He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something. http://tfl.nu/60sr
  Replies (7) Good night (2101) Bad night (1252)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.

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  (505): Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car. http://tfl.nu/bc5h
  Replies (1) Good night (1704) Bad night (756)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.

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  (651): Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize. http://tfl.nu/ao6w
  Replies (5) Good night (1976) Bad night (565)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.

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  (206): Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it. http://tfl.nu/nkgr
  Replies (11) Good night (602) Bad night (1542)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have

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  (215): You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have http://tfl.nu/bm9z
  Replies (6) Good night (474) Bad night (1448)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.

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  (541): Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways. http://tfl.nu/r7l2
  Replies (1) Good night (530) Bad night (338)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.

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  (201): I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man. http://tfl.nu/58ag
  Replies (7) Good night (232) Bad night (788)

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