He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
