I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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