I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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