Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
