Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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