South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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