we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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