I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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