just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
