Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
