Your tits are I can't wait for
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
