That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
