i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
