i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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