Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
