I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
