trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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