i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
They took my balls.
My penis needs a shock collar
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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