You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
