I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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