I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
