New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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