I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
