I'm lost and stupid without you.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
