Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize