Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
