He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
