Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
